Make sure your kids feel included from the start by beginning long before the wedding day itself. Younger children might help you stuff and mail the invitations, while older kids could use their confidence on the computer to keep your guest list and RSVPs organized in a spreadsheet or creating your wedding programs.

Let your kids have a say in what they will wear to the rehearsal dinner and wedding – within reason, of course. If your child insists on wearing cowboy boots and a superhero costume every day of the week, this might be a challenge. But, if your child understands the level of formality you and your fiancé have chosen for the event and you express your enthusiasm over the color or style of clothing, go ahead and let your child loose within those limitations and encourage their creativity as far as accessories he or she might wear such as a miniature bouquet or boutonnière, headband or earrings, a pillow or some other way to carry the rings, etc.

There are numerous tasks that your kids can handle during the wedding and feel as though they are playing an important role.
1. Flower girl or ring bearer – Usually between the ages of 4 to 7.
2. Attendants — Junior bridesmaids or junior groomsmen are usually between the ages of 8 to 12, while older children may act as a maid or honor or best man.
3. Ushers to seat guests
4. Pass out something to the guests, whether it be the wedding programs, favors, bubbles or birdseed
5. Guest book or gift table duty
6. Roving photographer or videographer
7. Vocal or instrumental soloist
8. Read scripture or poetry during the ceremony
9. Add vows for you and your new spouse to express to the children during the ceremony.
10. Include the kids in lighting a unity candle or family candle, a prayer or a blessing during the wedding.
11. Present each child with a symbolic piece of jewelry such as a charm or medallion to represent your love and devotion during this time of growth and change.
12. Include your children in the first dance ritual at the reception by encouraging them to join you and your new spouse during the second verse or in a special song following your first dance.
13. Instead of a groom’s cake, let your kids choose the design and style of a cake for the reception.

What if your fiancé has children, but you don’t? Including his family in your wedding is still a great way to encourage a smooth transition into this new stage of your lives. This can be a little tricky depending on the atmosphere and any challenges that might exist such as whether you may have already met his kids and started to form a relationship with them prior to the wedding or if his ex harbors resentment toward your happiness. Discuss the possibilities with your husband-to-be in advance of the wedding, with plenty of time to discover the best way to ask the children to be involved.

If your children are grown and have families of their own, think about using some of these ideas to make sure your grandchildren feel included in your day.

But for those who might still be considering which way to go, there are definitely pros and cons for real flowers vs. silk.

SCENT
For some brides, nothing comes close to enjoying all of her senses being heightened on her wedding day, and that can include the dreamy scents wafting from her bouquet. Real flowers, of course, carry their own unique scents which isn’t the case with silk flowers. However, there are special scents available to add to silk flowers, so if you really want to go the silk route, that might be something to think about.

PRICE & QUALITY
Just because they’re imitation it doesn’t mean silk flowers will be less expensive than their real counterparts. In fact, some companies now manufacture faux flowers so realistic that it’s difficult to notice that they aren’t fresh.

Silk flowers can run the gamut from cheap and poorly made, to inexpensive with good quality, to high-price with high quality. You’re in luck if you’re able to find top-notch, lifelike silk flowers at a sale price, and some hobby stores frequently run coupons in their weekly advertisements.

If you have your heart set on out-of-season or more expensive fresh flowers, a little investigating will tell you whether you could actually save money by choosing silk. Out-of-season fresh flowers typically have the power to dramatically increase your floral bill, since it costs more for your florist have them shipped.

DIY
Taking care of some of your wedding chores on your own could possibly save you some money and if you are a do-it-yourself type of bride and plan on creating your own bouquets, you might consider using silk flowers. That way, you’ve got the luxury of time on your side. Buy your silk flowers and put the bouquets together in the weeks leading up to your wedding. Set up an area in your home so you can enjoy the challenge of creating the bouquets, boutonnieres and centerpieces.

Or, if you prefer to use real flowers in your do-it-yourself bouquets, take a hint from the French. Brides in France often visit a flower market the day of the wedding, grabbing stems that they like, and then tie a bow around the stems to create bouquets with a fresh, just-picked look.

This isn’t difficult to do if there is a wholesale flower company in your area or you know of a great source to find stems. Depending on the size of your wedding party and the number of bouquets, boutonnieres and centerpieces you need, it might be wise to enlist the help of your bridesmaids and borrow coolers from friends and relatives to keep the flowers as fresh as possible before the ceremony and reception.

Another option is to order flowers online from one of the reputable companies who will ship the flowers to you.

If you’re a fan of the hand-tied, casual bouquets that are so popular right now, you should be able to play with the stems until you’re satisfied with the look.

MAINTENANCE
Silk flowers won’t wilt, which is something to consider if you would like to use flowers known for being fragile, if you live in a hot climate, or if you will get married outside.

Silk flowers are a bit more convenient because they’re lighter to transport to the ceremony and to the reception site. A lighter bouquet can be a blessing if you prefer larger bouquets as the weight of a real bouquet might become uncomfortable during the ceremony, especially to your maid of honor who is holding her own bouquet and the bride’s.

Also, you won’t need to worry about keeping silk flowers in water prior to show time, which is a common concern when using real florals.

Whether you choose live or lifelike, your wedding and reception will be beautiful with the right floral touches.

Even if you don’t plan on having a bartender at your reception, you can still serve custom cocktails. Choose someone to man the bar and teach him or her how to make your signature drink. Some of your guests won’t care to partake, but others will get a kick out of your creativity and trying something new.

How do you find your own custom cocktail?

Start with what you already know. Do you have a favorite drink? If so, modify it or rename it for your wedding. If it’s a martini, it could be as simple as adding the suffix “-tini” to your last name and you’ve instantly renamed it.

Do you have a friend who makes a living tending bar? Ask for his or her recommendation for your special day.

Check with your caterer to see what type of drink would best complement the meal being served at your reception.

Visit the library or buy a book about bartending and you’ll find hundreds of drink recipes to spark your imagination.

Keep in mind the color scheme of your wedding and the color of the drink.

To get your started, here are a few ideas.

Rum and Pomegranate drink (red)

1 ½ oz. white rum
¼ oz. orange liqueur
Splash of lime juice
2 ½ oz. sparkling pomegranate juice
Colored sugar (for rim of glass)
Dip rim of glass in water, then in colored sugar. Combine rum, liqueur and juices with ice in the glass; stir.

Strawberry Watermelon Mojito

1½ oz. strawberry vodka
½ oz. fresh lime juice
½ oz. mint-infused simple syrup
1 cup fresh seedless watermelon, cubed and chilled
1 bunch fresh mint leaves
Club soda

To make mint syrup, bring 2 cups of sugar and 1 cup of water to a boil. Once sugar dissolves, remove from heat; add 10 mint leaves. Let cool for 30 minutes. Strain. Combine vodka, lime juice, simple syrup, ½ cup of watermelon and 10 mint leaves in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake for 10 seconds. Strain into a glass with ice and remaining watermelon. Top with club soda. Garnish with additional mint leaf.

Lemonade Margaritas

1 (12 oz.) can frozen lemonade
1 (12 oz.) can frozen limeade
4 cans water
2 cans of premium tequila
1 can Triple Sec

Stir all ingredients together. Fill blender carafe with ice cubes and pour one-fourth of mixture over ice. Blend until frozen slush is formed. Continue with remaining mixture. Serve in a chilled sugar-rimmed margarita glass with a sprig of mint and a small pinch of cayenne pepper. (Serve on the rocks by skipping the blender step.)

Candy Cane Cocktail

1 oz Peppermint Schnapps
1 oz. Vanilla Liqueur
1 shot vanilla rum
1 shot white chocolate liqueur
1 shot peppermint schnapps
Candy cane (miniature candy canes work well, or break candy canes into large pieces)

Mix all together and serve with candy cane garnish.

DRESSES

1.     Gray is the “it” color for wedding apparel this year, with fabrics ranging from silver-gray to lavender-tinged gray to deep, dark steel gray. Gray looks great with yellow or pink, and it’s striking with a deep purple.

2.     Pink continues its comeback in 2009, with shades of it showing up on details within the bride’s dress, in large splashes on bridesmaids’ gowns and in bouquets.

3.     Chocolate brown, so popular last year, remains high on the color wheel of choices for brides in 2009.

If you’re intrigued by the idea of gray, pink or chocolate, but not sure about accent colors, take a tried-and-true hint from interior designers. Visit the paint department of your favorite home improvement store and collect strips of paint chips. Take them home, arrange them, and rearrange them. You’ll soon find your favorites emerging as you ponder the possibilities.

CAKES

4.     Influenced by elaborate cake decorating challenges on cable TV shows, we’re seeing more and more asymmetrical wedding cakes. These askew masterpieces are often quite colorful, which is another trend we’re seeing plenty of in 2009 – fewer white-on-white wedding cakes.

5.     For a trendy reception, brides are taking a cue from the  recent return of the cupcake fad. Cupcakes situated on a tower continues to be a popular option, but the new trick is to order cupcakes in geometric shapes instead of the expected round.

6.     If you desire a more traditional wedding cake rather than cupcakes, the geometric-shaped trend carries over into larger layers, as well. Square-shaped or hexagonal-shaped layers are popular this year, and stacking the layers can create a unique, eye-catching look.

7.     Monochrome cakes still have their place, especially when the bride opts for the ever-popular black-and-white wedding theme. While black icing in moderation can be quite striking against a stark white cake, some brides step it up a few notches with intricate lacey details and splashes of black on their cakes.

FOOD

8.     Sample stations have emerged as a popular alternative to a sit-down dinner or buffet.

9.     Wine and cheese pairings, champagne bars, coffee, and dessert stations are popping up at receptions from coast to coast. Other options include potato bars with plenty of toppings, sushi, seafood, and Tex-Mex stations.

Sample stations can be a very considerate way to pamper your guests who may have special dietary needs. How about a selection for diabetics, vegetarians, or those with specific food allergies?

Multi-cultural couples also use food stations as a way to introduce their unique cultures to each other and to their guests.

LIGHTING

10.  On the wall or on the dance floor, projecting your names or initials in light against a surface can be a striking addition to your reception décor.

Choose a traditional-looking monogram with the bride’s initial on the left, the groom’s initial on the right, and the initial for the groom’s last name in the center. Or, if the bride is keeping her own name, go with your first names or initials. Another option is to have a graphic designer create your own custom logo, incorporating something sentimental from your courtship with your names or initials. Whether you realized you were meant for each other while high at the Eiffel Tower or on a Ferris wheel, little details like this can be fabulous touches for your ceremony and reception.

Check with your DJ to see if they have the equipment needed to reflect your initials or logo at the reception.

GREEN WEDDINGS

With concern for our earth growing, it’s easy to make subtle changes to make sure your wedding has less of an impact on the environment.

11.  Minimize the amount of driving for your guests by holding the ceremony and reception in one spot. Sometimes this just isn’t possible. For example, your church won’t allow you to have a champagne toast or an open bar at your reception. In that case, choose a reception site that doesn’t require guests to drive to another town.

12.  Recycled paper for wedding invitations is another easy way to go green. Or, take that a step farther and use one of the many beautiful papers with seeds embedded, and ask recipients to plant them and enjoy the flowers in their yards.

Other ways to go green include wearing a vintage gown, choosing organic or homegrown flowers, beeswax or soy-based candles, and tossing biodegradable confetti as the couple makes their getaway.

If you’re staying at the church for a while to finish taking photographs, don’t forget about your guests. They are already on the way to your reception site.

Considering the fact that guests tend to arrive for the wedding 30 minutes early, by the time the ceremony is over, they’ve invested quite a bit of time. Many have also traveled a distance to be there. Don’t rush through your photos before heading to the reception, but do be respectful of your guests.

Your coordinator, the reception site staff, or your attendants can help make sure the reception site’s tables are set up and the decorations are in place early the day of the wedding or the night before. Be sure to find out what time the band or DJ needs to set up, and make arrangements for someone to be there to let them in. If you’re using an off-site caterer and baker, you’ll need to make arrangements for someone to let them in as well, with plenty of time to set things up.

While they’re waiting for your grand entrance, your guests will be happy with light appetizers. Keep your guests there, having fun and satisfied. You don’t want guests thinking, “Well, I’m starving so I’m leaving.”

A coordinator can take care of the guests and prevent an awkward transition from ceremony to reception.  If you don’t have a coordinator, appoint someone to make sure that when people arrive at the reception, the music is playing, the bar is ready, the hors d’oeuvres are being served, and there is some sort of organization to it so people don’t arrive only to stand around waiting for the bride and groom to get there.

What’s the most important part of a reception? The visual impact is what people will remember.

Be creative with touches like lights, floating flowers or candles as centerpieces. Fresh flowers, candlelight and music add so much to a wedding, and they add ambiance to the reception site.

Another way to add ambiance is to rent a chocolate fountain. If the chocolate fountain is there, you’ve got a great party.  The chocolate fountain earns points for being visually appealing and also tops another important aspect of the reception – cuisine.

Food is one reason people come to a wedding, so don’t disappoint them.

There are lots of choices when it comes to food for your reception. Sit-down dinners tend to be most expensive since your caterer will need to hire more servers. Appetizers can be a less expensive choice, but not if they’re being served at meal time. Guests tend to fill up on them, making your per person price higher. When it comes to choosing between a buffet or hors d’oeuvres reception, it all depends on what you would like to serve. Often, a buffet can be the same price or less expensive than ordering finger foods.

To keep your guests happy, make plans to cut and serve the cake in a timely manner. Guests of all ages don’t want to leave before they enjoy a piece.

Dance Lessons
Most couples haven’t had formal dance training, but with the popularity of shows such as “Dancing With the Stars,” couples feel nervous about putting their arms around each other and simply swaying to the music.

Take a few dance lessons in the weeks leading up to your wedding. Don’t worry about putting on a show or learning difficult moves. Some basic dance steps will give you both the confidence to glide gracefully across the dance floor, impressing your guests.

Dim the Lights
Well in advance of your reception, find out where the light switches are at your site and learn how to dim the lights. Assign this task to someone trustworthy so that he or she can dim the lights when it’s time for your first dance. Not only is it romantic, it will give your DJ the chance to shine your custom monogram or wedding logo onto the wall or onto the dance floor. Check with your DJ to see what services they might be able to provide.

Dimming the lights can also let your guests know what is next on the agenda. If the lights are dimmed for your first dance, as soon as that dance is over your DJ is ready to get the party started with disco lights zigzagging and creating high energy to let the guests know it’s time to dance.

Choosing By Type of Dance
The song you choose for your first dance may be “your” song, so the choice has already been made. But if you’re not sure about a song, how do you narrow it down?

One way to choose is to decide what type of dance would you like to kick off the reception – slow dance, fox trot, swing, waltz? If you’re taking dance lessons, ask your instructor for suggestions. Once you have chosen the type of dance, it’s time to choose the song.

Some great suggestions include:
SLOW DANCE
•    “Amazed” by Lonestar
•    “At Last” by Etta James, Celine Dion, Nat “King” Cole or Beyoncé
•    “Can’t Fight This Feeling” by REO Speedwagon
•    “Don’t Know Much” by Linda Ronstadt and Aaron Neville
•    “It’s Your Love” by Faith Hill and Tim McGraw
•    “Unforgettable” by Nat “King” Cole

FOX TROT
•    “A Wink and a Smile” by Harry Connick, Jr.
•    “Cheek to Cheek” by Fred Astaire
•    “Could I Have This Dance” by Anne Murray
•    “Fly Me to the Moon” by Frank Sinatra
•    “I Hear a Symphony” by The Supremes

RUMBA
•    “Fields of Gold” by Sting
•    “How Deep is Your Love” by the Bee Gees
•    “I Don’t Wan to Live Without You” by Foreigner
•    “Isn’t She Lovely” by Stevie Wonder
•    “Just the Way You Are” by Billy Joel
•    “Let’s Stay Together” by Al Green

SWING
•    “Beyond the Sea” by Bobby Darin
•    “I’ve Got You Under my Skin” by Frank Sinatra
•    “More” by Bobby Darin
•    “Stepping Out” by Tony Bennett and Christina Aguilera
•    “The Way you Look Tonight” by Frank Sinatra

WALTZ
•    “Come Away With Me” by Norah Jones
•    “Could I Have This Dance” by Anne Murray
•    “Open Arms” by Journey
•    “When I Need You” by Leo Sayer
•    “When I Said I Do” by Clint Black and Lisa Hartman Black

Choosing By Specific Song
Another way to make the decision is to make the song itself the top priority rather than the dance. How about the song that was playing when you met? A favorite song that the two of you share? A song with lyrics that have special meaning for you? Now that you have a song in mind, ask your dance instructor or your DJ for suggestions about the type of dance that would be most appropriate.

Whichever song and type of dance you choose, take a deep breath, look into each others’ eyes, and enjoy those minutes alone on the dance floor before your guests join in.

If you’re thinking of having your wedding or reception (or both) at home, you might be as frustrated as George when it comes time to foot the bill to strip your house down to a shell in order to make room for guests.

The idea of an at-home wedding may be charming. Whether your family has a mansion or a modest home, it’s possible to hold a tasteful event with proper planning. But it’s not as simple as planning your annual summer barbecue and throwing some tulle here and there.

If having your reception at home seems like a good way to slash your budget, think again. You might save the cost of renting the venue itself, but most families don’t have an inventory of things sitting around that you’ll soon discover you’ll need for the reception. For example, do you have enough tables to set out for your guests? How about linens, chairs, plates and silverware?  How about a tent large enough to cover your dance floor if it rains? How about the dance floor itself? At least most wedding venues are prepared to include these items, or at least make them available.

If you weigh the options and determine that an at-home wedding or reception is still your first choice, be sure to allow yourself plenty of planning time.

A few months before the wedding, take a good look at your yard. Does it need to have any holes or uneven spots taken care of so that your guests won’t twist an ankle and table legs will be level? How about planting grass seed to fill up those bald spots?

Sketch out a map of the yard, penciling in where you would like to set up the food stations, band or DJ, tables for your guests, the dance floor and cake table.

Investigate your options as far as keeping insects at bay. Remember some insect-repellant candles are heavily scented, which can be an unpleasant odor especially when placed near food, candles or fresh flowers. Don’t force the scents fight each other.

About a week before the wedding, get rid of clutter, trim limbs and shrubs, and mow the yard.

The day before the wedding, give everything another good look and straighten up anything last-minute such as stringing white Christmas lights along the fence, placing rented topiaries around the yard and set up tables.

Are you worried about a neighbor’s lawn mower drowning out your vows? The easiest way to take care of this potential problem is to invite those neighbors to your wedding.

When it’s time to visit a rental store, take the sketch of your yard, a firm headcount, and consider the items you will likely need to rent:
•    Dining tables and chairs
•    Tableware (place settings, flatware, glasses)
•    Table linens
•    Portable restrooms
•    Dance floor
•    Generator
•    Speakers
•    Lighting
•    Microphone
•    Tent
•    Chafing dishes with candles beneath (or some other way to keep serving dishes warm)

Instead of ordering engraved invitations from a ritzy stationery store, print your own using your computer and printer. Most office supply, stationery or craft stores in your town (and online) have a great selection of paper that can shoot right through your printer. For a wider selection of colors, textures and sizes, browse through a scrapbooking store. Stationery and card stock can even be found on the shelves at Wal-Mart. Beautiful fonts are available for download online, and many are free or very reasonably priced. Look around online for inspiration and then play with your computer and printer until you achieve the results you’re looking for. Or, if you’re lucky, you know someone who is a talented graphic artist and can enlist their help.

Substitute lacy, delicate bridal shoes that you’ll never wear again with white sandals or pumps from the your favorite store’s shoe department. Shoes that are designated as “wedding shoes” tend to be more expensive, plus no one ever finds a reason to wear them in the future.

Ditch the live band at your reception and go with a DJ service. Pick your favorite tunes from their inventory. Or, to save even more money, hook your iPod up to a set of speakers.

Don’t sink your money into a monstrous wedding cake. Order a smaller, fabulous version of a traditional wedding cake and supplement it with sheet cake made to match the color and flavor of the cake and icing. Keep the sheet cake hidden in the kitchen and have it cut, put on plates, and brought out to the dining room so no one will ever notice. You’ll still have a pretty wedding cake for the cake ceremony and photos. Another way to save big on your cake is to place an order from Sam’s or a similar store without mentioning the fact that it’s for a wedding. (They tend to jack the price up for a wedding, while a simple cake in the same flavors will be reasonably priced.) Order three separate, double-layer, round cakes in three different sizes to fit on a rented cake display with three graduated plates. Dress it up with flowers once you place the cakes on the floating cake stand.

In place of an open bar, serve only wine and beer. Or place one bottle of red wine and one bottle of white wine at each table. Your guests will get the idea that the bottles on the table are theirs to consume. If you’d like to have a champagne toast, wait until it’s time for the toast and circulate trays of already-poured champagne. Not everyone will want to participate in the toast, and only a sip is really needed in each glass.

To save even more on beverages, skip the alcohol. Serve iced tea and water with the meal, coffee after the meal, and punch with the wedding cake.

Instead of large floral arrangements as centerpieces, think outside of the box to create centerpieces for each table at your reception. Roses, Gerbera daisies or floating candles are attractive floating in glass bowls. Two or three pillar candles in various heights are always attractive and can be picked up at discount prices following many holidays. Take advantage of the beauty of the area where you live by utilizing sea shells, twigs arranged in an attractive manner, or other natural wonders.

Placing disposable cameras on each table has become quite popular over the last several years, but getting all of the film processed can be quite an expense. Instead, ask several guests to bring their digital cameras and encourage them to circulate to get plenty of candid shots. That way, you’ll have images that you would have otherwise missed seeing.

Instead of napkins for the reception stamped with the couple’s names, the date, a cute image or quote, choose solid color napkins from a warehouse club or party supply store. No one notices what is on the napkin as they wipe their mouth and throw it away. Save the money that you would have spent on cutesy matchbook covers, too.

Someone close to the couple is a recovering alcoholic. A friend or relative has been hurt or even killed by a drunken driver. The bride and groom simply aren’t drinkers or they frown on drinking for religious reasons.

The wedding or reception site doesn’t allow alcohol on the premises. The families don’t want to deal with possibility of someone being hurt or killed following the reception, and the couple wouldn’t want their wedding date to forever commemorate such a tragedy.

Maybe the wedding budget simply can’t handle the added expense of serving alcohol.

Whatever the reason, it is totally acceptable to hold  an alcohol-free wedding reception.

One of the most common questions asked by couples when planning a non-alcoholic reception is how to let their guests know. When sending out your invitations, don’t feel obligated to include the fact that alcohol won’t be served. Your guests will realize, once they arrive at the reception, that alcohol isn’t part of the celebration.

This won’t be a big deal for the majority of your guests. Simply have plenty of other beverages to serve before, with and after the meal.

Sparkling juice or cider is often used when it’s time for toasts. Iced tea and water are standard options to serve with the meal. Coffee, of course, can be served with the meal and following the meal.

Today’s couples are opting for creative beverages as well, including parlaying their love of java into a coffee or espresso bar. How about providing a station to whip up their favorite fruit smoothies or childhood favorites such as hot cocoa or milkshakes?

If you like the trend of having a signature cocktail for your reception, but want to skip alcohol, there’s no need to feel deprived. Serve mocktails instead of cocktails. Search online or in books for non-alcoholic drinks, choose your favorite, and give it a fun name to reflect the theme of your wedding.

What makes a good mocktail? It’s not as easy as following the recipe for a cocktail minus the alcohol. In fact, if you merely delete the alcohol from a cocktail recipe, odds are your guests will leave the event with an odd taste in their mouths due to the balance of flavors being off. Your best bet is to search specifically for mocktail recipes rather than making adjustments to a cocktail recipe.

The simplest of wedding receptions would be the cake-and-punch reception, which often includes mints and nuts. Many cake-and-punch receptions also include light appetizers such as a deli platter, tea sandwiches, and a vegetable tray. If this is the type of reception you’re planning, alcohol won’t be missed at all.

RASPBERRY LEMONADE

Not too sweet and very quenching. Serves 36.

2 (12 fluid ounce) cans frozen raspberry lemonade concentrate

6 cups water

1-1/2 teaspoons lime juice

2 (12 fluid ounce) cans or bottles lemon-lime flavored carbonated beverage

2 cups crushed ice

2 cups fresh raspberries, garnish

Combine raspberry lemonade concentrate, water and lime juice in a large punchbowl. Stir in lemon-lime soda and crushed ice. Garnish each glass with a fresh raspberry.

FAUX CHAMPAGNE

For a hint of fruity flavor, use strawberry flavored carbonated water. Serves 15.

5-1/2 cups carbonated water, chilled

5-1/2 cups ginger ale

4 cups and 2 tablespoons unsweetened white grape juice

Refrigerate club soda, ginger ale and grape juice overnight. In a large punchbowl or pitcher, combine club soda, ginger ale and grape juice. Serve immediately over ice.