How to Have a Non-Alcoholic Wedding Reception

Having a wedding reception without alcoholic beverages can be a priority for some couples for many reasons.

Someone close to the couple is a recovering alcoholic. A friend or relative has been hurt or even killed by a drunken driver. The bride and groom simply aren’t drinkers or they frown on drinking for religious reasons.

The wedding or reception site doesn’t allow alcohol on the premises. The families don’t want to deal with possibility of someone being hurt or killed following the reception, and the couple wouldn’t want their wedding date to forever commemorate such a tragedy.

Maybe the wedding budget simply can’t handle the added expense of serving alcohol.

Whatever the reason, it is totally acceptable to hold  an alcohol-free wedding reception.

One of the most common questions asked by couples when planning a non-alcoholic reception is how to let their guests know. When sending out your invitations, don’t feel obligated to include the fact that alcohol won’t be served. Your guests will realize, once they arrive at the reception, that alcohol isn’t part of the celebration.

This won’t be a big deal for the majority of your guests. Simply have plenty of other beverages to serve before, with and after the meal.

Sparkling juice or cider is often used when it’s time for toasts. Iced tea and water are standard options to serve with the meal. Coffee, of course, can be served with the meal and following the meal.

Today’s couples are opting for creative beverages as well, including parlaying their love of java into a coffee or espresso bar. How about providing a station to whip up their favorite fruit smoothies or childhood favorites such as hot cocoa or milkshakes?

If you like the trend of having a signature cocktail for your reception, but want to skip alcohol, there’s no need to feel deprived. Serve mocktails instead of cocktails. Search online or in books for non-alcoholic drinks, choose your favorite, and give it a fun name to reflect the theme of your wedding.

What makes a good mocktail? It’s not as easy as following the recipe for a cocktail minus the alcohol. In fact, if you merely delete the alcohol from a cocktail recipe, odds are your guests will leave the event with an odd taste in their mouths due to the balance of flavors being off. Your best bet is to search specifically for mocktail recipes rather than making adjustments to a cocktail recipe.

The simplest of wedding receptions would be the cake-and-punch reception, which often includes mints and nuts. Many cake-and-punch receptions also include light appetizers such as a deli platter, tea sandwiches, and a vegetable tray. If this is the type of reception you’re planning, alcohol won’t be missed at all.

RASPBERRY LEMONADE

Not too sweet and very quenching. Serves 36.

2 (12 fluid ounce) cans frozen raspberry lemonade concentrate

6 cups water

1-1/2 teaspoons lime juice

2 (12 fluid ounce) cans or bottles lemon-lime flavored carbonated beverage

2 cups crushed ice

2 cups fresh raspberries, garnish

Combine raspberry lemonade concentrate, water and lime juice in a large punchbowl. Stir in lemon-lime soda and crushed ice. Garnish each glass with a fresh raspberry.

FAUX CHAMPAGNE

For a hint of fruity flavor, use strawberry flavored carbonated water. Serves 15.

5-1/2 cups carbonated water, chilled

5-1/2 cups ginger ale

4 cups and 2 tablespoons unsweetened white grape juice

Refrigerate club soda, ginger ale and grape juice overnight. In a large punchbowl or pitcher, combine club soda, ginger ale and grape juice. Serve immediately over ice.

Wedding Toasts: Raise a Glass to the Bride and Groom

When it’s time for toasts to be made during a wedding reception, it can be a time of great emotion, humor, or even embarrassment.

If your wedding reception falls along the straight-and-narrow lines of being ultra-traditional, wedding toasts are expected to go in a certain order. In a more contemporary wedding, you can make your own rules.

These days, it can get pretty confusing to try and plan who toasts whom and who goes first. Even if you make meticulous plans, will someone throw you off by offering an impromptu toast? Will someone tell a story or two that you really wish they would keep quiet about?

TRADITIONAL

Traditionally, the father of the bride is the first to offer a toast. He welcomes everyone to the reception since often he and the bride’s mother are hosting the event. The father of the bride toasts his daughter.

1. Next, the groom toasts his new wife.

2. Finally, the best man toasts the new Mr. and Mrs.

3. Following the best man’s toast, it’s time for the meal to begin.

CONTEMPORARY

If the traditional order of toasts doesn’t please you, or if you’ve got more family and friends who would like to speak, perhaps you would be more comfortable with something along these lines.

1. First, the best man toasts the groom.

2. Next, the maid of honor toasts the bride.

3. The father of the groom toasts the bride

4. The father of the bride toasts the groom.

5. The bride offers a toast.

6. The groom completes the toasting ceremony.

OPEN MIC

If you’d like for your guests to feel welcome to come forward and speak during your reception, an open microphone is one way to go. It lets guests know that you’re ready o hear what they have to say, whether it’s an impromptu toast or a story from your college days.

Be aware, however, that you will have no control over what guests might say, which could be a source of stress if alcohol flows freely or if your spouse’s college roommates haven’t quite learned tact yet.

Some wedding professionals warn against having an open mic, out of respect for the guests. Once the traditional toasts have been taken care of, guests are often tired of sitting in one spot, listening, and taking a sip. Also, the flow of the event may be compromised by an open mic, with both the meal and dancing interrupted repeatedly.

3 Almost Effortless Ways to Handle Tattoos Without Removing Them For the Wedding

Today’s brides and bridesmaids may face a wedding-day challenge that their mothers and grandmothers weren’t able to solve simply with something old, something new, something borrowed or something blue. With the popularity of tattoos, some brides and their bridesmaids must decide what – if anything – they’ll do with their body art as they get dressed to walk down the aisle.

There is no need to panic or look into something as drastic as tattoo removal. Instead, you might consider letting them shine, covering them up or camouflaging your tattoos.

LEAVE THEM ON DISPLAY

Do you feel strongly about your tattoo and what it represents? If you consider your body art to be a beautiful part of you rather than a memory of a drunken mistake that you try to hide, then you probably aren’t interested in covering them up on your wedding day.

If your tattoos mean that much to you, chances are good that your friends and family have learned to accept them. With that being said, they’ll love you and think you look beautiful without going to great lengths to hide your tattoos.

Keep your preferences in mind as you begin to shop for a wedding gown. Do you plan on choosing a dress that will scoop down enough to show the butterfly on your breast? Or a tea-length gown that will show off the tatt on your ankle?

COVER UP

Even brides who adore their tattoos might feel that they are a bit out of place if the wedding is ultra-traditional. There are several options that will let you conceal the tattoo with makeup.

Regular makeup often lacks enough pigment to cover the tattoo effectively. Another downside of using regular makeup is the fact that it can easily slide off of the skin, revealing the tattoo beneath or – even worse – staining your dress.

Several specialized types of makeup are manufactured with the sole purpose of hiding tattoos. A quick search online will reveal many options.

Don’t wait until the morning of your wedding to break out the tattoo cover-up and give it a go. Instead, be sure to purchase the makeup in advance and set aside some time to play with it. A few hours on a Saturday with your bridesmaids will give you enough time to work with the product. It’s also a great way to get the point across to any tattooed bridesmaids that you would prefer to have all eyes on YOU during the ceremony and reception rather than on their tatts.

While some brands of makeup are made specifically for covering tattoos with a light touch, keep in mind that if several layers of makeup must be used to cover the ink, chances are high that the darkness of the makeup will be noticeable to your guests and might also appear darker in your photos.

CAMOUFLAGE

If playing with makeup doesn’t appeal to you, consider disguising your tattoos. This is also a great choice if you would like to downplay your tattoos during the ceremony and then let them shine when it’s time to party.

Camouflaging your tattoos could be as easy as choosing a dress with fabric strategically placed where it will fall over your tattoos. Wide straps or a high collar could cover a tattoo on your neck, shoulder, or chest. Long sleeves might cover the barbed wire around your upper arm or the tattoo on your wrist.

Another option would be to find something to wear over the bodice of your dress to make the tattoos less visible during the ceremony, and then take it off for the reception. Vintage clothing stores are a great place to look for something unique.

A wrap, like something worn with a formal gown, might be perfect for you. An elegant drape would nestle against your inner elbows and across your lower back, with a length of fabric falling toward the floor on each side. For a lighter version of this look, choose a meshy material such as tulle or something to match your veil. If you’ve got the personality to pull it off, a boa might even do the trick.

While many brides skip wearing a veil these days, such a headpiece brushing across your shoulders, or even down your back, could be all that is needed to make your ink discreet.

Should the bride wear white to her second wedding?

Whether widowed or divorced, these days women who are headed down the aisle for a second (or even a third) time don’t feel restrained by outdated etiquette and rituals of the past.

Just a few short years ago, second marriages were kept quiet. Brides wore street clothes such as a business suit or a simple dress rather than a gown. Guests, if any, were limited to close family members for the sake of having legal witnesses, or children from the couple’s previous marriages. The ceremony was often completed within minutes and held at the courthouse or in a minister’s office rather than in a church or an elegant venue. Flowers, music, special readings or verses, and receptions were out of the question, and wedding announcements – if they were sent at all – were sent after the couple was wed.

These days, most brides and grooms will have been married before. If you’ve fallen in love again and decided to give it another go, why hide or act like you’re ashamed to be committing yourself to someone?

Contrary to popular belief, the color white does not symbolize the bride’s virginity. Instead, it symbolizes joy. So if you feel joyful to have found love again and you desire to wear white, don’t let naysayers stand in your way.

Some repeat brides take advantage of the opportunity to really shake things up. If you followed each traditional to a T the first time around (or even if you didn’t), your new life with your new love might be the perfect chance to toss all conventions to the wind and do what you really, truly want to do. Express your love in the most unique ways you can think of. Break the rules and enjoy yourselves!

Do you look fabulous in red? Wear that scarlet evening gown you’ve got your eye on.

Are you in better shape now than you’ve ever been in your life? Show off your fabulous arms and svelte figure in an elegant evening gown – or even (gasp!) a backless gown.

If a traditional gown is what you’ve got your heart set on, don’t let anyone talk you out of this choice, either.

Another concern for encore brides is whether to wear a veil. Traditionally, a long veil behind the bride and a blusher veil over her face have been symbols of virginity. While some guests might drop their jaws if you walk down the aisle with your face hidden by a blusher veil, remember this is your wedding, not theirs. If that fairy-tale wedding gown you’ve got your eye on doesn’t look complete without a veil, then by all means, wear it.

Alternatives to a veil include a tiara, beaded or jeweled combs, a fabulous up ‘do, or wearing your hair loose and woven with Swarovski crystals attached to strategic strands.

The Receiving Line: Should You Have One or Not?

Long ago, the wedding party surrounded the bride and groom to ward off evil spirits as guests wished them well. These days, the wedding party – along with the parents of the bride and groom – gather into a receiving line is a way to greet your wedding guests. After all, they’ve taken the time to witness your vows. Make sure they realize you appreciate seeing them.

The most common way to form a receiving line?

Immediately after being pronounced husband and wife, you and your new spouse march down the aisle with attendants in tow,  and everyone takes their place in the foyer or outside, if weather permits. Parents of the couple should be the first of the congregation to exit the church, congratulate the couple and join the lineup.

A receiving line is usually formed with the bride and groom in the middle and parents on either side. Place the groom’s parents next to the groom, and the bride’s parents next to the bride.

Next, position the groomsmen on the groom’s side, and the bridesmaids on the bride’s side. By this time, the ushers will be ready to begin dismissing guests, pew by pew, beginning with the pews closest to the front of the church.

However, about 85% of weddings skip this tradition because guests get upset standing in a long receiving line, and also because today’s couples prefer to greet everyone in a different way.

Instead of the traditional receiving line, the bride and groom do the job of the ushers and dismiss guests from the church. The couple turns to face the congregation and marches down the aisle following the ceremony, taking a moment with their parents once they are ushered out, and then the couple returns to the front of the church. As each row of guests is dismissed from their pew, the newlyweds greet them. Begin with the front row on the bride’s side of the church, and then alternate back and forth until you reach the last pews.

What should you say to your guests as you greet each one?

A simple “Hello” is a great way to get started. Thank you guests for coming. Introduce them to your spouse or your parents.

How much time should you estimate for spending in the receiving line? As long as you keep the greetings short and sweet, you should budget 30 minutes for every 100 guests.

Whether you choose a traditional receiving line or greeting each pew as it is dismissed, it’s important to take the time to acknowledge each guest, thank them for coming, and give them a chance to feel like they were a vital part of your wedding day.

Choosing Appropriate Music For Your Wedding and Reception

Your choice of music will help set the tone for your wedding day, beginning with the prelude as your guests arrive and are seated, to your first dance as husband and wife, to the final chorus-line dance in the wee hours of the morning as your reception draws to a close.

Whether you choose piano, organ or a string quartet, arrange for your music to start at least 30 minutes before the ceremony begins so that your guests don’t arrive to silence. Perfect choices are Bach’s Air on a G String, Vivaldi’s Violin Concerto No. 8 or Concerto No. 1 (from The Four Seasons, Spring).

Urging the attendants to the altar is the pre-processional. Your selection’s tempo should provide a natural rhythm for them to step, and be an appropriate length for all of the bridesmaids to reach their destination. Possible selections include Pachelbel’s Canon in D Major, Wagner’s Bridal Chorus from Lohengrin, Clarke’s Trumpet Voluntary or Handel’s Arrival of the Queen of Sheba.

Once the bridesmaids are in place and the last petal has been tossed, there should be a brief pause in the music, bringing the congregation to their feet for the bride’s grand entrance.  Perfect selections as you float down the aisle might be Mendelssohn’s Wedding March, Vivaldi’s Spring from the Four Seasons.

As you and your new husband walk back down the aisle, your recessional music reflects the joy of the moment. Adding to that moment might be Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus, Beethoven’s Ode to Joy or Vivaldi’s Sonata Prima.

Music for the postlude is an especially nice touch if the couple will be greeting each pew or having a receiving line at the church. Handel’s Postlude Overture (from Music for the Royal Fireworks), Purcell’s Trumpet Tune and Air or Handel’s Suite in F Major are possible choices.

The music at your reception is important to set the tone, as well. The person holding the microphone during your reception has the power. They’re very instrumental in making sure your event goes the way you planned.

The DJ, master of ceremonies or wedding coordinator can help prevent the reception from getting bogged down and make sure everything starts on time.

Another reason to hand the responsibilities over to a professional? Many times, the bride and groom aren’t used to being the center of attention. They could be overwhelmed by the day, shy or simply uncomfortable in that role. If you put them on display in front of all of these people, for hours at a time, it wears them out.

The most romantic moment of your reception is sure to be your first dance with your new husband. Why not choose “your” song, the song you fell in love to, or a song that conveys your feelings for each other?

Be sure to ask your DJ in advance for a catalog of their music collection. Let them know which songs you definitely want (and don’t want) played at your reception, and any special choices for father/daughter and mother/son dances.

Second Weddings: What’s Appropriate?

With more than 50 percent of today’s marriages involving a bride or groom who have been married before, social attitudes regarding what’s appropriate in the wedding ceremony have evolved over the years.

In the past, it was common to keep a remarriage quiet. Since a previous marriage had to have failed in order for this new couple to be ready to wed, that failure often overshadowed the joy of finding love again.

Attitudes have changed so much, in fact, that the word “remarriage” is rarely used today. In the past, couples quietly stated that they were going to remarry. Today, the couple happily announces their intentions to marry without the prefix of “re,” indicating that they are going into the union with an attitude of making this union its own being rather than a repeat event.

Second weddings (or even third weddings, for that matter) now range from quiet ceremonies in a chapel or courtroom to celebrations with as much pomp as many first-time weddings.

However, some feel it’s necessary to hold on to at least a few traditions and customs. Etiquette, after all, still exists and rare is the wedding that goes off without a hitch. Knowing how to handle any dilemmas that might pop up is wise for all brides.

Second-time couples are usually older and wiser than their first-time counterparts. More of the ceremony, reception and honeymoon decisions will be theirs, since they are often paying for everything, rather than those decisions lying with family members who are footing the bill.

Sophistication is often the name of the game with today’s remarrying couples. Along with becoming older and wiser, the couple has a better idea of who they are, both individually and as a couple. Let that confidence show in the tasteful, classic choices that you make rather than being swayed by ultra-trendy (or even downright tacky) choices made by younger couples. As an example, an older bride knows her body and has a sense of style. She’ll be less tempted to choose a type of gown that will guarantee her wedding photos will be forwarded in emails that result in gasps or laughter.

Most second weddings are less formal than a first wedding, but that doesn’t mean they are less lovely. While a large, hoop skirt with long train and seven bridesmaids reeks of first-time, fairytale bride, an encore bride might take advantage of her confidence by wearing something that announces her sophistication and maturity. One attendant is more appropriate than your entire pack of sorority sisters, as well.

The guest list for an encore ceremony can still include all of your extended family and everyone you’ve ever met. However, most couples prefer to scale things down a bit and concentrate on inviting those who would be considered the most important people in your lives.

Children from your previous marriages, of course, will attend this wedding.  If they’re old enough to stand up for you as a legal witness, and if that’s what you desire, by all means go ahead with this plan. If your children are too young to be witnesses, there’s no reason for them to sit in the audience and watch. They can still stand up with you, as bridesmaids and groomsmen, junior bridesmaids or groomsmen, or they can stand with you for a special ceremony to bless your new family unit.

Will you be given away at your second wedding? Some say this tradition would be awkward since the one who would need to give the bride to her new spouse, at this point, would be her former spouse. However, there is a school of thought that frowns up on this theory since it would imply the antiquated view that the woman bounced from being under the wing of her father, to her first husband, and now to her second husband. With women being more independent these days and making their own way in the world, it’s her choice whether she’ll be given away.

March down the aisle on your own, have your father or step-father accompany you, or have your oldest child walk you down the aisle.

Ready For Anything: Your Wedding day Emergency Kit

As much as we try to make sure an event as important as a wedding goes off without a hitch, it sure pays to be ready for anything.

Whether you are the bride or a bridesmaid, consider tossing a few things into a tote bag or basket to disaster-proof the day. It will save time because no one will need to make a last-minute trip from the church to a store, and it will definitely relieve stress to know that these handy items are within reach.

Start out small, picking up a few things from the list here and there while you’re out, and it won’t seem so overwhelming (or as expensive). But, rest assured, all of these suggestions will eventually be used since they are common, everyday items.

What should you stock up on for the emergency kit?

• Straws (so you can have a drink without messing up your lipstick or spilling all over your dress)

• Insect repellent (for outdoor weddings or receptions – be sure to test its scent prior to the event so you don’t end up smelling like the great outdoors)

• White chalk (to hide stains)

• clear nail polish (to repair a manicure or run in pantyhose)

• instant stain remover (such as a Tide pen)

• safety pins

• nail file or emery board

• miniature sewing kit

• fabric tape

• scissors

• breath mints

• tampons and pads

• pain reliever

• dental floss

• tweezers

• comb/brush

• hair spray

• hair pins/bobby pins

• antacid

• crackers (in case someone forgets to eat)

• batteries (in case digital cameras run out of juice)

• ink pen (for when it’s time to sign the marriage license)

• a list of phone numbers for all of your wedding vendors and your attendants

• contact lens solution

• duct tape

• scotch tape

• dark socks (in case you have any forgetful groomsmen)

• extra car keys

Another handy item to have on hand (but it won’t fit in the emergency kit) would be a barstool without a back or sides. Once you’ve dressed the bride, she’s bound to want to sit down before the ceremony begins, but if she sits in a regular chair, she’ll risk wrinkling.

Keep the emergency kit handy throughout the day. The worst possible thing would be to suddenly need something in the kit, realize you didn’t bring it into the church with you as the bridesmaids are getting ready, and have to send someone to dig through your car to find it.

Keep the Bride Calm as She Gets Ready on Her Wedding Day

Nerves can run high when love is in the air.

What do the experts suggest to stay calm and bask in the spotlight?

Have everything ready to go at least one week prior – a precise schedule of the day’s events including what time wedding party members should arrive at the church, a practice session applying your new makeup shades, an emergency kit with essentials (needle, thread, pantyhose, makeup, aspirin, tampons, contact lens solution, telephone numbers to reach all of your wedding vendors). Don’t wait until the last minute to get anything waxed, plucked, colored, permed or straightened.

Delegate! Bridesmaids aren’t just eye candy. Make them earn that poufy dress. Traditionally, it’s the maid of honor’s job to act as the bride’s right arm. She should make sure the bride gets to bed early the night before, drinks plenty of water all day so she doesn’t dehydrate, and help the bride slip her into her gown. Don’t forget — one of the most important duties of the MOH is to make sure the bride eats a light breakfast to avoid nuptial nausea.

Brides spend so much time planning the perfect day that they often have trouble relaxing and letting go when it finally arrives. You’ve dreamed of this day for years, so enjoy it. Don’t micromanage every detail.

Trusting a wedding coordinator to handle the fine details can help the day run as smoothly as possible. They’re more affordable than you might think, especially when you consider the time they’ll save and the stress they’ll prevent. If a pro is out of your budget, ask a friend or relative to act as coordinator. It needs to be someone other than the bride’s mother so she can enjoy the day, as well.

The day wouldn’t be complete without one or two little mishaps. What if your flower girl’s little sister trots behind her, diligently picking up petals as fast as they fall? What if the best man drops your carats, sending guests hunting beneath pews? Or you both get the giggles? Enjoy it! Remind yourself these are the moments that will bring smiles to your grandkids’ faces someday, when they ask to hear the fairy tale story of your wedding day.

What’s the best way to conquer the jitters?

Apprehension turns to adoration with a simple solution that’s growing in popularity. When the couple is dressed and ready to go (but the guests haven’t begun to arrive), have someone park the groom in the chapel, while someone else fluff the bride’s train, and then instruct him to turn and greet his bride. Close the door, leaving the two to spend a few minutes together before the guests arrive.

This private time before the ceremony gives the couple a chance to calm their nerves, leaving them free to enjoy the day more deeply.

One memorable (and macho) groom resisted at first, but agreed to meet his bride before the ceremony. Following 10 minutes with his bride-to-be, he was unashamed of his tears. “It’s such a private moment. Why would I want to share that with 400 people?” he said.

Worried it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the ceremony?

“It’s not about luck,” Macho Groom said, dabbing more tears. “It’s about faith.”