Wedding Newsletters Help Keep Your Wedding Party Involved

If you’re like most brides these days, it’s important to keep everyone involved in your wedding up-to-date at all times, and it’s not easy. Two sets of parents (or possibly more, taking into consideration divorce, remarriage and step-families), siblings, bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls, out-of-town relatives who will travel to your event – the list goes on and on.

One of the easiest ways to keep everyone in the loop is to prepare a wedding newsletter.

Some brides choose to send their wedding newsletter out to everyone who has received an invitation to the wedding, while others hold off and create a wedding program to share with everyone the day of the ceremony.

A wedding newsletter helps to avoid confusion since everything is in writing. No one will wonder if the information that they heard from so-and-so regarding which earrings the bridesmaids should wear is true because they can refer to the newsletter to be sure.

It’s also a great way for the members of the families and wedding party to get to know each other, if they don’t already. Some of your attendants may be from various stages of your life or different cities that you lived in. While you often think of everyone grouped together as your posse, unless your entire circle of friends is very close there is always a possibility that some of your attendants have never met.

Be sure to include snapshots of each person, along with a short bio or mention how you know this person. Little touches like this can make a big difference once everyone has gathered in person for the event. They’ll feel like they’ve already been introduced to each other, which can relieve stress at what can easily become a stressful time.

Include information such as when and where the bridesmaids should appear for fittings, when and where groomsmen should go to be measured for their tuxedos, when they will be ready to be picked up, bridal showers and parties, lodging and car rental for those who are coming from out of town. Be sure to include when and where the wedding rehearsal will take place, along with details about the rehearsal dinner, its location, and what type of apparel is appropriate. Your bridesmaids will also appreciate knowing if you plan for everyone to get ready at one location together before the ceremony, what time, and whether they will be picked up. Since your maid of honor is your right-hand-woman, include her contact information in the newsletter to encourage everyone to get in touch with her if any questions arise. This will save your sanity in the long run.

Your wedding newsletter can be as simple as typing up a quick page full of information and mailing it to everyone or setting up a YahooGroup so that you can easily email the same information to everyone, all with one click.

Or, if you prefer to be fancy, using Microsoft Publisher or Quark Xpress to give it the look and feel of a “real” newsletter.

Send it to anyone who needs to know the information you have discussed within the newsletter – family members, members of the wedding party, parents of any children who are part of the wedding party, and even your vendors if they need to stay informed.

If you’re going to have a wedding newsletter, it’s a good idea to send it out as soon as everyone has accepted their roles in the wedding, just to make sure they feel included from the start. If plans change or there is more information to share, it’s perfectly acceptable to send out a newsletter one or two more times. Just keep is short and sweet so no one gets the impression you have turned into Bridezilla.

Cut Here, Spend There… How to cut costs and still have a nice wedding

Looking for little ways to save money on your wedding without risking your guests thinking you’re a cheapskate? There are plenty of ways to have a nice event without breaking the bank.

Instead of ordering engraved invitations from a ritzy stationery store, print your own using your computer and printer. Most office supply, stationery or craft stores in your town (and online) have a great selection of paper that can shoot right through your printer. For a wider selection of colors, textures and sizes, browse through a scrapbooking store. Stationery and card stock can even be found on the shelves at Wal-Mart. Beautiful fonts are available for download online, and many are free or very reasonably priced. Look around online for inspiration and then play with your computer and printer until you achieve the results you’re looking for. Or, if you’re lucky, you know someone who is a talented graphic artist and can enlist their help.

Substitute lacy, delicate bridal shoes that you’ll never wear again with white sandals or pumps from the your favorite store’s shoe department. Shoes that are designated as “wedding shoes” tend to be more expensive, plus no one ever finds a reason to wear them in the future.

Ditch the live band at your reception and go with a DJ service. Pick your favorite tunes from their inventory. Or, to save even more money, hook your iPod up to a set of speakers.

Don’t sink your money into a monstrous wedding cake. Order a smaller, fabulous version of a traditional wedding cake and supplement it with sheet cake made to match the color and flavor of the cake and icing. Keep the sheet cake hidden in the kitchen and have it cut, put on plates, and brought out to the dining room so no one will ever notice. You’ll still have a pretty wedding cake for the cake ceremony and photos. Another way to save big on your cake is to place an order from Sam’s or a similar store without mentioning the fact that it’s for a wedding. (They tend to jack the price up for a wedding, while a simple cake in the same flavors will be reasonably priced.) Order three separate, double-layer, round cakes in three different sizes to fit on a rented cake display with three graduated plates. Dress it up with flowers once you place the cakes on the floating cake stand.

In place of an open bar, serve only wine and beer. Or place one bottle of red wine and one bottle of white wine at each table. Your guests will get the idea that the bottles on the table are theirs to consume. If you’d like to have a champagne toast, wait until it’s time for the toast and circulate trays of already-poured champagne. Not everyone will want to participate in the toast, and only a sip is really needed in each glass.

To save even more on beverages, skip the alcohol. Serve iced tea and water with the meal, coffee after the meal, and punch with the wedding cake.

Instead of large floral arrangements as centerpieces, think outside of the box to create centerpieces for each table at your reception. Roses, Gerbera daisies or floating candles are attractive floating in glass bowls. Two or three pillar candles in various heights are always attractive and can be picked up at discount prices following many holidays. Take advantage of the beauty of the area where you live by utilizing sea shells, twigs arranged in an attractive manner, or other natural wonders.

Placing disposable cameras on each table has become quite popular over the last several years, but getting all of the film processed can be quite an expense. Instead, ask several guests to bring their digital cameras and encourage them to circulate to get plenty of candid shots. That way, you’ll have images that you would have otherwise missed seeing.

Instead of napkins for the reception stamped with the couple’s names, the date, a cute image or quote, choose solid color napkins from a warehouse club or party supply store. No one notices what is on the napkin as they wipe their mouth and throw it away. Save the money that you would have spent on cutesy matchbook covers, too.

Small ways to extend a big welcome to your out-of-town guests

If some of your wedding invitations were mailed out of town or even out of state, chances are you’ll welcome guests who will have traveled by air or via a long car trip.

Considering the fact that these guests have already invested a good deal of time and money to attend your wedding, you’ll want to make an extra effort to make them feel truly welcome and appreciated.

MAPS

A great way to help everyone, whether they’ve been there before or not, is to include a tastefully done map when you send your invitations. Don’t assume that all of your guests have been to your area before. Include the sites of the ceremony, reception and hotels where they might stay, along with the quickest routes from the airport and the main highways. Even if someone is a repeat visitor, they’ll appreciate the guidance, especially if it’s been a while or your town has experienced growth since they last visited.

Paying for your out-of-town guests’ lodging is not your responsibility, but it is customary for you to negotiate rates and secure a block of rooms for guests at a convenient hotel. Include contact information for the hotel in the invitation packets for out-of-town guests, along with car rental options,

ITINERARY

After the invitations have been sent, it’s time to prepare an itinerary for your guests. This is your opportunity to let everyone know about your plans, which is particularly helpful for weekend-long weddings or destination weddings.

Your itinerary can be a clever packet of information sent via snail mail, or a detailed web site or blog for guests to visit and learn what is to be expected.

Be sure to include all of the events preceding and following the ceremony. If guests might have a bit of free time here and there, include interesting things to see and do in your area.

For those who will be essential to the ceremony itself, such as your attendants, relatives, and anyone who will be invited to the rehearsal dinner, it’s a good idea to tuck extra information into their packet before sending it off. Include details on the time and location of the rehearsal dinner, along with directions and whether dress will be casual or formal. If you’ll be sending a car for your bridesmaids, let them know. Or if close relatives will be invited to a special brunch at your parents’ home or future-in-laws’ home, be sure to include that information, as well.

HOTEL

Little surprises left for your guests in their hotel rooms will reinforce the fact that you appreciate their making the trip. A small gift basket with locally produced wine, fruit, flowers, or even homemade cookies or brownies will be a welcome treat.

Another copy of the itinerary will be handy, along with a list of phone numbers to reach families of the bride and groom. Encourage your guests to mingle by including the names and room numbers of additional guests staying at the same hotel.

RECEPTION

Take every opportunity possible to let all of your guests know how much their presence means to you. A few sincere comments from you and your parents during the receiving line will mean so much to guests who have traveled to share your day. Your out-of-town guests will appreciate being acknowledged with a toast from the bride and groom during the reception, just to let everyone know how much their journey has meant to you.

THANK YOU NOTES

When it’s time to send out notes to thank everyone for their gifts to you and your new spouse, don’t forget to thank them for attending your wedding, in particular if they took time off from work and traveled to be there.

It may seem like a bit of work for you to put the plans in motion to make your guests feel at home, but with a little help from your attendants it shouldn’t take much time at all to assemble everything. There’s nothing worse than taking time off from work, spending your hard-earned cash, and staying in a hotel, only to be ignored by the very people who invited you to take this journey. Don’t let your guests leave your wedding feeling that way.

How to Have a Non-Alcoholic Wedding Reception

Having a wedding reception without alcoholic beverages can be a priority for some couples for many reasons.

Someone close to the couple is a recovering alcoholic. A friend or relative has been hurt or even killed by a drunken driver. The bride and groom simply aren’t drinkers or they frown on drinking for religious reasons.

The wedding or reception site doesn’t allow alcohol on the premises. The families don’t want to deal with possibility of someone being hurt or killed following the reception, and the couple wouldn’t want their wedding date to forever commemorate such a tragedy.

Maybe the wedding budget simply can’t handle the added expense of serving alcohol.

Whatever the reason, it is totally acceptable to hold  an alcohol-free wedding reception.

One of the most common questions asked by couples when planning a non-alcoholic reception is how to let their guests know. When sending out your invitations, don’t feel obligated to include the fact that alcohol won’t be served. Your guests will realize, once they arrive at the reception, that alcohol isn’t part of the celebration.

This won’t be a big deal for the majority of your guests. Simply have plenty of other beverages to serve before, with and after the meal.

Sparkling juice or cider is often used when it’s time for toasts. Iced tea and water are standard options to serve with the meal. Coffee, of course, can be served with the meal and following the meal.

Today’s couples are opting for creative beverages as well, including parlaying their love of java into a coffee or espresso bar. How about providing a station to whip up their favorite fruit smoothies or childhood favorites such as hot cocoa or milkshakes?

If you like the trend of having a signature cocktail for your reception, but want to skip alcohol, there’s no need to feel deprived. Serve mocktails instead of cocktails. Search online or in books for non-alcoholic drinks, choose your favorite, and give it a fun name to reflect the theme of your wedding.

What makes a good mocktail? It’s not as easy as following the recipe for a cocktail minus the alcohol. In fact, if you merely delete the alcohol from a cocktail recipe, odds are your guests will leave the event with an odd taste in their mouths due to the balance of flavors being off. Your best bet is to search specifically for mocktail recipes rather than making adjustments to a cocktail recipe.

The simplest of wedding receptions would be the cake-and-punch reception, which often includes mints and nuts. Many cake-and-punch receptions also include light appetizers such as a deli platter, tea sandwiches, and a vegetable tray. If this is the type of reception you’re planning, alcohol won’t be missed at all.

RASPBERRY LEMONADE

Not too sweet and very quenching. Serves 36.

2 (12 fluid ounce) cans frozen raspberry lemonade concentrate

6 cups water

1-1/2 teaspoons lime juice

2 (12 fluid ounce) cans or bottles lemon-lime flavored carbonated beverage

2 cups crushed ice

2 cups fresh raspberries, garnish

Combine raspberry lemonade concentrate, water and lime juice in a large punchbowl. Stir in lemon-lime soda and crushed ice. Garnish each glass with a fresh raspberry.

FAUX CHAMPAGNE

For a hint of fruity flavor, use strawberry flavored carbonated water. Serves 15.

5-1/2 cups carbonated water, chilled

5-1/2 cups ginger ale

4 cups and 2 tablespoons unsweetened white grape juice

Refrigerate club soda, ginger ale and grape juice overnight. In a large punchbowl or pitcher, combine club soda, ginger ale and grape juice. Serve immediately over ice.

Wedding Toasts: Raise a Glass to the Bride and Groom

When it’s time for toasts to be made during a wedding reception, it can be a time of great emotion, humor, or even embarrassment.

If your wedding reception falls along the straight-and-narrow lines of being ultra-traditional, wedding toasts are expected to go in a certain order. In a more contemporary wedding, you can make your own rules.

These days, it can get pretty confusing to try and plan who toasts whom and who goes first. Even if you make meticulous plans, will someone throw you off by offering an impromptu toast? Will someone tell a story or two that you really wish they would keep quiet about?

TRADITIONAL

Traditionally, the father of the bride is the first to offer a toast. He welcomes everyone to the reception since often he and the bride’s mother are hosting the event. The father of the bride toasts his daughter.

1. Next, the groom toasts his new wife.

2. Finally, the best man toasts the new Mr. and Mrs.

3. Following the best man’s toast, it’s time for the meal to begin.

CONTEMPORARY

If the traditional order of toasts doesn’t please you, or if you’ve got more family and friends who would like to speak, perhaps you would be more comfortable with something along these lines.

1. First, the best man toasts the groom.

2. Next, the maid of honor toasts the bride.

3. The father of the groom toasts the bride

4. The father of the bride toasts the groom.

5. The bride offers a toast.

6. The groom completes the toasting ceremony.

OPEN MIC

If you’d like for your guests to feel welcome to come forward and speak during your reception, an open microphone is one way to go. It lets guests know that you’re ready o hear what they have to say, whether it’s an impromptu toast or a story from your college days.

Be aware, however, that you will have no control over what guests might say, which could be a source of stress if alcohol flows freely or if your spouse’s college roommates haven’t quite learned tact yet.

Some wedding professionals warn against having an open mic, out of respect for the guests. Once the traditional toasts have been taken care of, guests are often tired of sitting in one spot, listening, and taking a sip. Also, the flow of the event may be compromised by an open mic, with both the meal and dancing interrupted repeatedly.

Should the bride wear white to her second wedding?

Whether widowed or divorced, these days women who are headed down the aisle for a second (or even a third) time don’t feel restrained by outdated etiquette and rituals of the past.

Just a few short years ago, second marriages were kept quiet. Brides wore street clothes such as a business suit or a simple dress rather than a gown. Guests, if any, were limited to close family members for the sake of having legal witnesses, or children from the couple’s previous marriages. The ceremony was often completed within minutes and held at the courthouse or in a minister’s office rather than in a church or an elegant venue. Flowers, music, special readings or verses, and receptions were out of the question, and wedding announcements – if they were sent at all – were sent after the couple was wed.

These days, most brides and grooms will have been married before. If you’ve fallen in love again and decided to give it another go, why hide or act like you’re ashamed to be committing yourself to someone?

Contrary to popular belief, the color white does not symbolize the bride’s virginity. Instead, it symbolizes joy. So if you feel joyful to have found love again and you desire to wear white, don’t let naysayers stand in your way.

Some repeat brides take advantage of the opportunity to really shake things up. If you followed each traditional to a T the first time around (or even if you didn’t), your new life with your new love might be the perfect chance to toss all conventions to the wind and do what you really, truly want to do. Express your love in the most unique ways you can think of. Break the rules and enjoy yourselves!

Do you look fabulous in red? Wear that scarlet evening gown you’ve got your eye on.

Are you in better shape now than you’ve ever been in your life? Show off your fabulous arms and svelte figure in an elegant evening gown – or even (gasp!) a backless gown.

If a traditional gown is what you’ve got your heart set on, don’t let anyone talk you out of this choice, either.

Another concern for encore brides is whether to wear a veil. Traditionally, a long veil behind the bride and a blusher veil over her face have been symbols of virginity. While some guests might drop their jaws if you walk down the aisle with your face hidden by a blusher veil, remember this is your wedding, not theirs. If that fairy-tale wedding gown you’ve got your eye on doesn’t look complete without a veil, then by all means, wear it.

Alternatives to a veil include a tiara, beaded or jeweled combs, a fabulous up ‘do, or wearing your hair loose and woven with Swarovski crystals attached to strategic strands.

Your Rehearsal Dinner: What to Expect

Think of it as a lead-in to the wedding, two families getting to know each other better, toasts from the best man and maid of honor, and stories from those who have known the couple all their lives. It’s your rehearsal dinner, held the night before the wedding.

A rehearsal dinner should never outshine the wedding. It should be a time for people to get comfortable within themselves, relax and breathe. It’s about sentiment.

For the couple’s parents, especially with younger couples, the rehearsal dinner is like the Last Supper. It can be bittersweet, but it should basically be an intimate time of celebration. It’s also a great opportunity to begin to unite the families of the bride and groom.

No matter the budget for the event, the most important thing is to make it a nice way for people to be together, whether it’s a formal event or a picnic at the park. Whatever the hosts are comfortable in doing and whatever they can afford.

Traditionally, the groom’s family pays for the rehearsal dinner, and it’s up to them to determine how large or small the event should be.

While it’s important to remember to include spouses or significant others of bridesmaids and groomsmen, decisions must be made about other guests. Along with your parents, of course, will the rehearsal dinner include grandparents, aunts and uncles, or godparents? Out-of-town family and friends are often invited to the rehearsal dinner, but should you invite everyone that traveled to your wedding or just the ones you’re closest to? Be sure to invite your officiant and his or her spouse or guest.

Consider inviting only those out-of-towners who are very close to the couple to the rehearsal dinner, while planning an activity for the out-of-town guests who aren’t invited to the rehearsal dinner. Let people know how to find other people at the wedding, anticipate their needs and suggest things to do if they’re not invited to the rehearsal dinner.

It isn’t necessary to plan entertainment for the rehearsal dinner.

Most likely, guests will stand up, offer their best wishes to the couple, and tell a brief story. It’s always fun to hear amusing bits and pieces of how your guests met your spouse-to-be or something they did when they were kids. It’s also a great way to begin forging relationships with people who are important to your new family.

How to Register For Wedding Gifts

OK, you’ve got the perfect man, perfect ring, perfect dress and perfect date. Now make sure you get perfect gifts.

Most couples just starting out are no longer just starting out. They aren’t leaving their parents’ homes or a dorm room to make a new home with mismatched hand-me-downs. The average couple is older now – she’s 27 and he’s 29 – and enjoying better education and career opportunities than brides and grooms in the past.

Those who are truly just starting out might register for everything from apple corers to VCRs, but what about couples who already have it all? They’re upgrading to new models of their old favorites or registering for unusual items, like honeymoon packages or big screen TVs.

So before you drag your beloved off to play laser tag with a store’s hand-held scanner guns, take stock of what you have, what you want and what you need. Arriving at the store prepared might save you from leaving frustrated or angry with each other.

Register for both expensive and inexpensive items, giving friends the opportunity to choose something you’ll love, no matter their budget.

Should you register at only one store?

Sticking with one store may seem easiest, but then you don’t have as many varieties. If your heart is set on china from one store but you found the perfect crystal elsewhere, why turn your back on one?

Don’t forget to make gift buying easier for your loved ones by registering online. Many  stores upload your gift registry to their web site, which makes life easier for friends and relatives that live across the country or are unable to attend the ceremony.

During the registration process, don’t feel obligated to choose one of everything in each category. If you’re a tomboy at heart and can’t imagine serving guests on delicate china with dainty rosebuds, skip it and choose dishes that reflect your sense of style.

Do you have room for it? If there isn’t room for 12 place settings of formal china, crystal and silver packed away in your one-bedroom apartment while you finish grad school, you have two options. Either don’t register for it or make arrangements to leave it in Mom and Dad’s attic until you get settled.

Many stores leave your bridal registry file active for a year or more after your wedding date, giving busy or forgetful friends that couldn’t make it a chance to send a gift later. Be sure to ask about such policies when you register. It’s also wise to ask about your store’s return/exchange policy, just in case you change your mind – about the gift, not the wedding.

The Receiving Line: Should You Have One or Not?

Long ago, the wedding party surrounded the bride and groom to ward off evil spirits as guests wished them well. These days, the wedding party – along with the parents of the bride and groom – gather into a receiving line is a way to greet your wedding guests. After all, they’ve taken the time to witness your vows. Make sure they realize you appreciate seeing them.

The most common way to form a receiving line?

Immediately after being pronounced husband and wife, you and your new spouse march down the aisle with attendants in tow,  and everyone takes their place in the foyer or outside, if weather permits. Parents of the couple should be the first of the congregation to exit the church, congratulate the couple and join the lineup.

A receiving line is usually formed with the bride and groom in the middle and parents on either side. Place the groom’s parents next to the groom, and the bride’s parents next to the bride.

Next, position the groomsmen on the groom’s side, and the bridesmaids on the bride’s side. By this time, the ushers will be ready to begin dismissing guests, pew by pew, beginning with the pews closest to the front of the church.

However, about 85% of weddings skip this tradition because guests get upset standing in a long receiving line, and also because today’s couples prefer to greet everyone in a different way.

Instead of the traditional receiving line, the bride and groom do the job of the ushers and dismiss guests from the church. The couple turns to face the congregation and marches down the aisle following the ceremony, taking a moment with their parents once they are ushered out, and then the couple returns to the front of the church. As each row of guests is dismissed from their pew, the newlyweds greet them. Begin with the front row on the bride’s side of the church, and then alternate back and forth until you reach the last pews.

What should you say to your guests as you greet each one?

A simple “Hello” is a great way to get started. Thank you guests for coming. Introduce them to your spouse or your parents.

How much time should you estimate for spending in the receiving line? As long as you keep the greetings short and sweet, you should budget 30 minutes for every 100 guests.

Whether you choose a traditional receiving line or greeting each pew as it is dismissed, it’s important to take the time to acknowledge each guest, thank them for coming, and give them a chance to feel like they were a vital part of your wedding day.

Choosing Appropriate Music For Your Wedding and Reception

Your choice of music will help set the tone for your wedding day, beginning with the prelude as your guests arrive and are seated, to your first dance as husband and wife, to the final chorus-line dance in the wee hours of the morning as your reception draws to a close.

Whether you choose piano, organ or a string quartet, arrange for your music to start at least 30 minutes before the ceremony begins so that your guests don’t arrive to silence. Perfect choices are Bach’s Air on a G String, Vivaldi’s Violin Concerto No. 8 or Concerto No. 1 (from The Four Seasons, Spring).

Urging the attendants to the altar is the pre-processional. Your selection’s tempo should provide a natural rhythm for them to step, and be an appropriate length for all of the bridesmaids to reach their destination. Possible selections include Pachelbel’s Canon in D Major, Wagner’s Bridal Chorus from Lohengrin, Clarke’s Trumpet Voluntary or Handel’s Arrival of the Queen of Sheba.

Once the bridesmaids are in place and the last petal has been tossed, there should be a brief pause in the music, bringing the congregation to their feet for the bride’s grand entrance.  Perfect selections as you float down the aisle might be Mendelssohn’s Wedding March, Vivaldi’s Spring from the Four Seasons.

As you and your new husband walk back down the aisle, your recessional music reflects the joy of the moment. Adding to that moment might be Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus, Beethoven’s Ode to Joy or Vivaldi’s Sonata Prima.

Music for the postlude is an especially nice touch if the couple will be greeting each pew or having a receiving line at the church. Handel’s Postlude Overture (from Music for the Royal Fireworks), Purcell’s Trumpet Tune and Air or Handel’s Suite in F Major are possible choices.

The music at your reception is important to set the tone, as well. The person holding the microphone during your reception has the power. They’re very instrumental in making sure your event goes the way you planned.

The DJ, master of ceremonies or wedding coordinator can help prevent the reception from getting bogged down and make sure everything starts on time.

Another reason to hand the responsibilities over to a professional? Many times, the bride and groom aren’t used to being the center of attention. They could be overwhelmed by the day, shy or simply uncomfortable in that role. If you put them on display in front of all of these people, for hours at a time, it wears them out.

The most romantic moment of your reception is sure to be your first dance with your new husband. Why not choose “your” song, the song you fell in love to, or a song that conveys your feelings for each other?

Be sure to ask your DJ in advance for a catalog of their music collection. Let them know which songs you definitely want (and don’t want) played at your reception, and any special choices for father/daughter and mother/son dances.