The Nine Most Popular Diamond Shapes For Engagement Rings

ROUND
Round diamonds are the most popular, making up 75 percent of all diamonds sold today. Its 58 facets display more fire and brilliance compared to other available shapes.

They are the most versatile diamond shape because they can be used in many styles of jewelry, from pairing a solitaire with a simple gold band to surrounding it with many additional stones in a ring wrap.

PRINCESS
Next in popularity is the princess cut, which is a square diamond with sharp corners and a lot of brilliance.

A princess cut stone looks a bit smaller than a round diamond with the same carat weight due to the princess cut stone being cut deeper to achieve its stylish shape. However, the princess cut, with 76 facets, often has more fire and brilliance than the round cut.

MARQUISE
The marquise diamond, with a point on each of its two ends, often looks larger than other cuts of the same carat weight. With about 56 facets, the marquise is quite a sparkler. Legend has it that this stone was named in honor of Louis XV’s mistress, Marquise de Pompadour.

EMERALD
Once a popular choice for royalty and the rich, the emerald cut is a rectangle-shaped diamond that shows off its clarity better than other shapes. When looking within the stone, an emerald will resemble a prism, while a round or princess cut looks like a kaleidoscope. Emeralds have few (but larger) flashes of light; compare this to round and princess cuts which have more (but smaller) flashes of light.

HEART
While often chosen for its sentimentality, the heart-shaped diamond isn’t as popular because it simply doesn’t shine as brightly as other cuts. The very cuts that turned the stone into the shape of a heart take away some of its ability to sparkle and shine.

OVAL
An elongated version of the round cut, the oval-shaped diamond is a great choice for long fingers. Popular since it appeared on the scene in the 1960s, the oval has 56 facets and makes a great choice for a center stone in multi-stone engagement rings.

ASSCHER
This vintage shape made its comeback in the 1990s, appearing on the fingers of many Hollywood starlets. The Asscher is a modified-square cut with stepped facets, created in Holland more than a century ago. At that time, only the uber-rich could afford its brilliance. Today, the Asscher cut diamond is in short supply and high demand.

With a cut that resembles the emerald at first glance, its cut seems to go on forever when you look deep into the Asscher diamond.

CUSHION
The cushion cut diamond, square or rectangular with rounded corners, looks great in today’s vintage style engagement rings. The stones’ 58 facets are generally cut large, creating large flashes of light.

PEAR
The pear-shaped diamond is unique in that it resembles a round diamond at one end and a marquise at the other. When worn on the finger, the point should face one’s fingertips. Often less sparkly than the round diamond, the 58-facet pear tends to make the wearer’s fingers appear slimmer. This cut looks fabulous with trillions or smaller pears next to the main stone.

BAGUETTE & TRILLIAN
The baguette and the trillian cut are two additional diamond shapes which are quite popular these days, but rarely stand on their own. Instead, both are used to accent larger stones.

Developed in 1978, the trillian was derived from the Princess cut. Trillians look like a triangle and resemble the Princess cut when you look deep within the stone.

Like the stick of French bread that shares its name, the baguette diamond is long and slim. A large baguette is rare. They are most common alongside a larger stone, or several may be set together in a channel setting.

13 Thoughtful Ways to Include Your Children As You Remarry

If you have children, making the decision to marry or remarry affects their lives as much as yours. Your wedding day is the perfect opportunity to help your kids make the transition into this new blended family, no matter what their age.

Make sure your kids feel included from the start by beginning long before the wedding day itself. Younger children might help you stuff and mail the invitations, while older kids could use their confidence on the computer to keep your guest list and RSVPs organized in a spreadsheet or creating your wedding programs.

Let your kids have a say in what they will wear to the rehearsal dinner and wedding – within reason, of course. If your child insists on wearing cowboy boots and a superhero costume every day of the week, this might be a challenge. But, if your child understands the level of formality you and your fiancé have chosen for the event and you express your enthusiasm over the color or style of clothing, go ahead and let your child loose within those limitations and encourage their creativity as far as accessories he or she might wear such as a miniature bouquet or boutonnière, headband or earrings, a pillow or some other way to carry the rings, etc.

There are numerous tasks that your kids can handle during the wedding and feel as though they are playing an important role.
1. Flower girl or ring bearer – Usually between the ages of 4 to 7.
2. Attendants — Junior bridesmaids or junior groomsmen are usually between the ages of 8 to 12, while older children may act as a maid or honor or best man.
3. Ushers to seat guests
4. Pass out something to the guests, whether it be the wedding programs, favors, bubbles or birdseed
5. Guest book or gift table duty
6. Roving photographer or videographer
7. Vocal or instrumental soloist
8. Read scripture or poetry during the ceremony
9. Add vows for you and your new spouse to express to the children during the ceremony.
10. Include the kids in lighting a unity candle or family candle, a prayer or a blessing during the wedding.
11. Present each child with a symbolic piece of jewelry such as a charm or medallion to represent your love and devotion during this time of growth and change.
12. Include your children in the first dance ritual at the reception by encouraging them to join you and your new spouse during the second verse or in a special song following your first dance.
13. Instead of a groom’s cake, let your kids choose the design and style of a cake for the reception.

What if your fiancé has children, but you don’t? Including his family in your wedding is still a great way to encourage a smooth transition into this new stage of your lives. This can be a little tricky depending on the atmosphere and any challenges that might exist such as whether you may have already met his kids and started to form a relationship with them prior to the wedding or if his ex harbors resentment toward your happiness. Discuss the possibilities with your husband-to-be in advance of the wedding, with plenty of time to discover the best way to ask the children to be involved.

If your children are grown and have families of their own, think about using some of these ideas to make sure your grandchildren feel included in your day.

Flowers For Your Wedding Day: Fresh or Silk?

For some brides, there is no question. It’s fresh flowers or no flowers at all.

But for those who might still be considering which way to go, there are definitely pros and cons for real flowers vs. silk.

SCENT
For some brides, nothing comes close to enjoying all of her senses being heightened on her wedding day, and that can include the dreamy scents wafting from her bouquet. Real flowers, of course, carry their own unique scents which isn’t the case with silk flowers. However, there are special scents available to add to silk flowers, so if you really want to go the silk route, that might be something to think about.

PRICE & QUALITY
Just because they’re imitation it doesn’t mean silk flowers will be less expensive than their real counterparts. In fact, some companies now manufacture faux flowers so realistic that it’s difficult to notice that they aren’t fresh.

Silk flowers can run the gamut from cheap and poorly made, to inexpensive with good quality, to high-price with high quality. You’re in luck if you’re able to find top-notch, lifelike silk flowers at a sale price, and some hobby stores frequently run coupons in their weekly advertisements.

If you have your heart set on out-of-season or more expensive fresh flowers, a little investigating will tell you whether you could actually save money by choosing silk. Out-of-season fresh flowers typically have the power to dramatically increase your floral bill, since it costs more for your florist have them shipped.

DIY
Taking care of some of your wedding chores on your own could possibly save you some money and if you are a do-it-yourself type of bride and plan on creating your own bouquets, you might consider using silk flowers. That way, you’ve got the luxury of time on your side. Buy your silk flowers and put the bouquets together in the weeks leading up to your wedding. Set up an area in your home so you can enjoy the challenge of creating the bouquets, boutonnieres and centerpieces.

Or, if you prefer to use real flowers in your do-it-yourself bouquets, take a hint from the French. Brides in France often visit a flower market the day of the wedding, grabbing stems that they like, and then tie a bow around the stems to create bouquets with a fresh, just-picked look.

This isn’t difficult to do if there is a wholesale flower company in your area or you know of a great source to find stems. Depending on the size of your wedding party and the number of bouquets, boutonnieres and centerpieces you need, it might be wise to enlist the help of your bridesmaids and borrow coolers from friends and relatives to keep the flowers as fresh as possible before the ceremony and reception.

Another option is to order flowers online from one of the reputable companies who will ship the flowers to you.

If you’re a fan of the hand-tied, casual bouquets that are so popular right now, you should be able to play with the stems until you’re satisfied with the look.

MAINTENANCE
Silk flowers won’t wilt, which is something to consider if you would like to use flowers known for being fragile, if you live in a hot climate, or if you will get married outside.

Silk flowers are a bit more convenient because they’re lighter to transport to the ceremony and to the reception site. A lighter bouquet can be a blessing if you prefer larger bouquets as the weight of a real bouquet might become uncomfortable during the ceremony, especially to your maid of honor who is holding her own bouquet and the bride’s.

Also, you won’t need to worry about keeping silk flowers in water prior to show time, which is a common concern when using real florals.

Whether you choose live or lifelike, your wedding and reception will be beautiful with the right floral touches.

Serve Custom Cocktails for a Fun, Trendy Reception

Custom cocktails have become all the rage at weddings. It’s easy to dream up your own fruity concoction – or borrow a recipe that already exists and rename it in honor of the bride and groom.

Even if you don’t plan on having a bartender at your reception, you can still serve custom cocktails. Choose someone to man the bar and teach him or her how to make your signature drink. Some of your guests won’t care to partake, but others will get a kick out of your creativity and trying something new.

How do you find your own custom cocktail?

Start with what you already know. Do you have a favorite drink? If so, modify it or rename it for your wedding. If it’s a martini, it could be as simple as adding the suffix “-tini” to your last name and you’ve instantly renamed it.

Do you have a friend who makes a living tending bar? Ask for his or her recommendation for your special day.

Check with your caterer to see what type of drink would best complement the meal being served at your reception.

Visit the library or buy a book about bartending and you’ll find hundreds of drink recipes to spark your imagination.

Keep in mind the color scheme of your wedding and the color of the drink.

To get your started, here are a few ideas.

Rum and Pomegranate drink (red)

1 ½ oz. white rum
¼ oz. orange liqueur
Splash of lime juice
2 ½ oz. sparkling pomegranate juice
Colored sugar (for rim of glass)
Dip rim of glass in water, then in colored sugar. Combine rum, liqueur and juices with ice in the glass; stir.

Strawberry Watermelon Mojito

1½ oz. strawberry vodka
½ oz. fresh lime juice
½ oz. mint-infused simple syrup
1 cup fresh seedless watermelon, cubed and chilled
1 bunch fresh mint leaves
Club soda

To make mint syrup, bring 2 cups of sugar and 1 cup of water to a boil. Once sugar dissolves, remove from heat; add 10 mint leaves. Let cool for 30 minutes. Strain. Combine vodka, lime juice, simple syrup, ½ cup of watermelon and 10 mint leaves in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake for 10 seconds. Strain into a glass with ice and remaining watermelon. Top with club soda. Garnish with additional mint leaf.

Lemonade Margaritas

1 (12 oz.) can frozen lemonade
1 (12 oz.) can frozen limeade
4 cans water
2 cans of premium tequila
1 can Triple Sec

Stir all ingredients together. Fill blender carafe with ice cubes and pour one-fourth of mixture over ice. Blend until frozen slush is formed. Continue with remaining mixture. Serve in a chilled sugar-rimmed margarita glass with a sprig of mint and a small pinch of cayenne pepper. (Serve on the rocks by skipping the blender step.)

Candy Cane Cocktail

1 oz Peppermint Schnapps
1 oz. Vanilla Liqueur
1 shot vanilla rum
1 shot white chocolate liqueur
1 shot peppermint schnapps
Candy cane (miniature candy canes work well, or break candy canes into large pieces)

Mix all together and serve with candy cane garnish.

How to Add Memorable Touches to Make Your Wedding Beautiful

The last thing any bride wants is for her wedding to be a cookie-cutter replica of someone else’s wedding, or – even worse – to go through the traditional motions, totally lacking any touches that would reflect the heart and soul of her personality and that of her groom.

What are some easy ways to infuse your ceremony and reception with touches that will make it “so you”?

Sit down and brainstorm, jotting down the qualities you admire in your relationship with your fiancé. What are your values? What is it about the two of you that makes you who you are?

If a certain theme seems to stand out in your life as a couple, think it over and see where that takes you. It could be something as simple as a favorite color, something that has to do with where you met, a sport or an activity the two of you share, a sports team, an alma mater that you share, the best vacation you ever took together, or how your paths crossed at Disney World when you were 10 and you didn’t know about it until years later.

Maybe your signature drink for the reception will be the drink you were enjoying when his friends dared him to introduce himself to you for the very first time. Or the floral theme throughout the wedding and reception will pay homage to the bouquet he sent you after you both realized you were perfect for each other.

Another direction to go would be your heritage. Are there traditions within your culture or your family that would make a statement during your wedding?

Intertwine your personalities as you plan your day. Take advantage of the things that make you – individually and as a couple – unique, including your talents and hobbies.

Don’t be afraid of sharing something that may seem silly. Those silly little touches are exactly the type of thing that will help your guests feel like they really know you, even if they happen to be just an acquaintance. Your ceremony will stand out as a special one in their minds rather than the same old, boring wedding that we’ve all had to suffer through so may times.

Looking for inspiration? Here are a few ideas to get you started.

TABLES
Get rid of those boring table cards and numbers and use your imagination. Instead, how about using shapes to distinguish the tables from each other. Whether you go with shapes or names, there are plenty of options. Ocean lovers or fans of fishing might choose things that live in the water, or names of beaches. If you met in college, choose your school’s mascot in different colors, names of your alma mater’s dorms, or names of streets or your favorite hangouts from those days. Do you share passion for the same sport? Name your tables in honor of your favorite teams or players.

EXIT
Make your departure unique by choosing a special song to be played as you make your exit. Or perhaps you’d like to drive away in a classic car that you’ve borrowed or rented, a horse-drawn carriage, or even a helicopter.

MONOGRAM
Custom monograms or logos are gaining popularity with brides and grooms. Hire a graphic designer to create your look, whether informal or elaborate, and then repeat the theme wherever possible. Have a vinyl wall stencil created to attach to the wall near the dance floor, behind the head table at the reception, or to behind the cake table. Plan ahead so that your monogram will be visible when photos are taken, rather than having it hidden by your heads. Some DJ services offer packages where they shine your initials or your logo onto a wall or the dance floor, which makes a fabulous impression.

12 Hot Wedding Trends for 2009

What’s hot for weddings in 2009?

DRESSES

1.     Gray is the “it” color for wedding apparel this year, with fabrics ranging from silver-gray to lavender-tinged gray to deep, dark steel gray. Gray looks great with yellow or pink, and it’s striking with a deep purple.

2.     Pink continues its comeback in 2009, with shades of it showing up on details within the bride’s dress, in large splashes on bridesmaids’ gowns and in bouquets.

3.     Chocolate brown, so popular last year, remains high on the color wheel of choices for brides in 2009.

If you’re intrigued by the idea of gray, pink or chocolate, but not sure about accent colors, take a tried-and-true hint from interior designers. Visit the paint department of your favorite home improvement store and collect strips of paint chips. Take them home, arrange them, and rearrange them. You’ll soon find your favorites emerging as you ponder the possibilities.

CAKES

4.     Influenced by elaborate cake decorating challenges on cable TV shows, we’re seeing more and more asymmetrical wedding cakes. These askew masterpieces are often quite colorful, which is another trend we’re seeing plenty of in 2009 – fewer white-on-white wedding cakes.

5.     For a trendy reception, brides are taking a cue from the  recent return of the cupcake fad. Cupcakes situated on a tower continues to be a popular option, but the new trick is to order cupcakes in geometric shapes instead of the expected round.

6.     If you desire a more traditional wedding cake rather than cupcakes, the geometric-shaped trend carries over into larger layers, as well. Square-shaped or hexagonal-shaped layers are popular this year, and stacking the layers can create a unique, eye-catching look.

7.     Monochrome cakes still have their place, especially when the bride opts for the ever-popular black-and-white wedding theme. While black icing in moderation can be quite striking against a stark white cake, some brides step it up a few notches with intricate lacey details and splashes of black on their cakes.

FOOD

8.     Sample stations have emerged as a popular alternative to a sit-down dinner or buffet.

9.     Wine and cheese pairings, champagne bars, coffee, and dessert stations are popping up at receptions from coast to coast. Other options include potato bars with plenty of toppings, sushi, seafood, and Tex-Mex stations.

Sample stations can be a very considerate way to pamper your guests who may have special dietary needs. How about a selection for diabetics, vegetarians, or those with specific food allergies?

Multi-cultural couples also use food stations as a way to introduce their unique cultures to each other and to their guests.

LIGHTING

10.  On the wall or on the dance floor, projecting your names or initials in light against a surface can be a striking addition to your reception décor.

Choose a traditional-looking monogram with the bride’s initial on the left, the groom’s initial on the right, and the initial for the groom’s last name in the center. Or, if the bride is keeping her own name, go with your first names or initials. Another option is to have a graphic designer create your own custom logo, incorporating something sentimental from your courtship with your names or initials. Whether you realized you were meant for each other while high at the Eiffel Tower or on a Ferris wheel, little details like this can be fabulous touches for your ceremony and reception.

Check with your DJ to see if they have the equipment needed to reflect your initials or logo at the reception.

GREEN WEDDINGS

With concern for our earth growing, it’s easy to make subtle changes to make sure your wedding has less of an impact on the environment.

11.  Minimize the amount of driving for your guests by holding the ceremony and reception in one spot. Sometimes this just isn’t possible. For example, your church won’t allow you to have a champagne toast or an open bar at your reception. In that case, choose a reception site that doesn’t require guests to drive to another town.

12.  Recycled paper for wedding invitations is another easy way to go green. Or, take that a step farther and use one of the many beautiful papers with seeds embedded, and ask recipients to plant them and enjoy the flowers in their yards.

Other ways to go green include wearing a vintage gown, choosing organic or homegrown flowers, beeswax or soy-based candles, and tossing biodegradable confetti as the couple makes their getaway.

How to Make a Smooth Transition From the Church to the Reception Hall

With the sacredness of the ceremony out of the way, the reception is the place where guests want to walk in and say, “Wow! Now we’re going to have fun. It’s time to celebrate!”

If you’re staying at the church for a while to finish taking photographs, don’t forget about your guests. They are already on the way to your reception site.

Considering the fact that guests tend to arrive for the wedding 30 minutes early, by the time the ceremony is over, they’ve invested quite a bit of time. Many have also traveled a distance to be there. Don’t rush through your photos before heading to the reception, but do be respectful of your guests.

Your coordinator, the reception site staff, or your attendants can help make sure the reception site’s tables are set up and the decorations are in place early the day of the wedding or the night before. Be sure to find out what time the band or DJ needs to set up, and make arrangements for someone to be there to let them in. If you’re using an off-site caterer and baker, you’ll need to make arrangements for someone to let them in as well, with plenty of time to set things up.

While they’re waiting for your grand entrance, your guests will be happy with light appetizers. Keep your guests there, having fun and satisfied. You don’t want guests thinking, “Well, I’m starving so I’m leaving.”

A coordinator can take care of the guests and prevent an awkward transition from ceremony to reception.  If you don’t have a coordinator, appoint someone to make sure that when people arrive at the reception, the music is playing, the bar is ready, the hors d’oeuvres are being served, and there is some sort of organization to it so people don’t arrive only to stand around waiting for the bride and groom to get there.

What’s the most important part of a reception? The visual impact is what people will remember.

Be creative with touches like lights, floating flowers or candles as centerpieces. Fresh flowers, candlelight and music add so much to a wedding, and they add ambiance to the reception site.

Another way to add ambiance is to rent a chocolate fountain. If the chocolate fountain is there, you’ve got a great party.  The chocolate fountain earns points for being visually appealing and also tops another important aspect of the reception – cuisine.

Food is one reason people come to a wedding, so don’t disappoint them.

There are lots of choices when it comes to food for your reception. Sit-down dinners tend to be most expensive since your caterer will need to hire more servers. Appetizers can be a less expensive choice, but not if they’re being served at meal time. Guests tend to fill up on them, making your per person price higher. When it comes to choosing between a buffet or hors d’oeuvres reception, it all depends on what you would like to serve. Often, a buffet can be the same price or less expensive than ordering finger foods.

To keep your guests happy, make plans to cut and serve the cake in a timely manner. Guests of all ages don’t want to leave before they enjoy a piece.

Six Tips For Planning Your Wedding Without Angering Your Co-workers

These days, most brides are working full-time while planning their weddings.

Adding all of the necessary wedding-planning tasks to an already busy life can be a challenge when you’re still responsible for your daily responsibilities on the job. Difficulties might arise when you consider the fact that many wedding vendors might limit their business hours to the very hours you’re supposed to be on the job.

The biggest challenge could easily be to keep from making your co-workers angry. If you’re slacking off on your duties while they’re still working hard, you’ll risk making them feel like you’ve turned into a Bridezilla. An even worse situation would be for your co-workers to take over your accounts, files or clients while you make no effort to do your work, but focus solely on your wedding instead.

On the other hand, some phone calls and appointments must be taken care of during regular business hours. What’s a bride-to-be to do?

1.    Be Discreet

If you need to make a phone call to set up an appointment with your baker, florist, caterer or anyone providing services for your wedding, make an effort to do so during your break or at lunchtime. If that’s not possible, shut the door to an office, find a conference room that isn’t being used, or slip outside with your cell phone.

2.    Delegate
Parcel out your to-do list so that there is less wedding-related work for you to take care of during the work day. Take advantage of the fact that you have a maid of honor and bridesmaids who are very likely anxious and excited to help, and want to see your day turn out splendidly almost as much as you do.

3.    Lunch Hour
No doubt, there will be some appointments that won’t bend and must be taken care of while you should be sitting at your desk or taking care of business. For those situations, arrange to take an odd lunch hour. It’s often easier to meet with other professionals mid-morning or mid-afternoon rather than at the very time they, too, expect to take an hour off.

4.    Email & Telephone
Handle as much of your wedding-planning as possible via email and telephone prior to making a trip out to meet with the vendors. It’s much easier to conceal the fact that you’re checking your personal email account than it is to hide the fact that you’re away from your desk or out of the office for half of the day. However, it’s a good idea to limit yourself as much as possible to avoid getting caught.

5.  Cover Your Tracks
Keep another session open on your computer at the same time and be ready to toggle back-and-forth if there’s a chance you might be caught. Some employers are more lenient than others regarding employees using personal email while at work, so do what you think is best for your situation.

Completely sign out of your personal email account and exit any web sites before stepping away from your computer, even if you’re just stepping away for a moment. Don’t just minimize those wedding web sites – get all the way out of them. Make it a point to frequently delete your computer’s web browsing history file, just in case a ticked-off co-worker decides to investigate to see just how many web sites you’re visiting while on company time.

Better yet, wake up early enough to spend some time checking wedding-related email before you leave for work.

5.    Personal Day
If at all possible, take a day off for personal business and get as much done for your wedding as possible. This might take several days of planning before you’re able to take that day off. Line up as many appointments as possible, get up early, and be ready to hit the ground running.

6.    Keep it Quiet
Avoid discussing your wedding while on the job. Sure, your co-workers are likely happy for you, but your wedding isn’t as important to them as it is to you. Don’t risk making everyone else think that you’re goofing off while on the clock, while they continue to keep the place running. Another negative possibility from talking about your wedding at work non-stop is the risk of making your co-workers think you’re running wedding headquarters on-the-job when you’re not.

After all, your employer isn’t paying you to plan your wedding, so don’t do anything that might put your career in jeopardy or leave you jobless when you return from your honeymoon.

How Much Should You Pay the Person Who Performs Your Wedding Ceremony?

No matter who will foot the bill for your wedding, when you sit down to plan your budget, don’t forget to include an appropriate fee to the person who will perform the ceremony and pronounce you husband and wife.

Who has been granted the power to make your union legal? It may be a member of the clergy such as a preacher, priest, reverend, pastor, minister, rabbi or other holy man or holy woman. In some areas, tribal chiefs or other appropriate officials may perform Native American ceremonies. Or you might choose to be married by someone with ties to the legal community such as a judge of various divisions of the court, justice of the peace, a retired judge or justice.

Will your wedding take place at a church? Be sure to ask exactly what the church’s fee includes. Sometimes there will be a fee for renting the facility, possibly another fee for clean-up, and often these fees do not include the fee for the minister to officiate. Or there might be another package that, for a few hundred dollars more, will include the officiant.

How much should you expect to pay the officiant?

It depends on where you live and what is customary.

If you will have a simple civil ceremony performed at a courthouse, city hall or other location, you should anticipate paying $50 to $100.

A pastor or minister will expect to receive anywhere from $100 to $400 or possibly more, depending on the cost of living in your area.

How can you avoid the embarrassment of paying someone too little?

Ask around. If you have friends who were married recently, ask what they paid their officiant. Is your minister skirting around the issue or possibly telling you, “Oh, anything you decide to pay me is fine”? Check with the church secretary to see if she knows what is customary, ask someone on the church board, or seek the advice of the church wedding coordinator (if one is on staff).

Another way to check would be to visit bridal message boards and see if the topic has been discussed recently. If it hasn’t, post a new discussion thread to see what other brides are paying and make your decision based on their feedback.

Does your minister require you and your fiancé attend pre-marital counseling sessions before he or she agrees to perform the ceremony? If so, that is another reason to boost the amount of money you pay him or her.

Many officiants meet with the couple prior to the rehearsal to go over any customs, traditions and church rules. This would be the time to discuss the structure of the ceremony, any readings or songs you would like, and to set a time for the rehearsal.

Prior to your wedding day, your wedding coordinator will most likely collect checks from you, and then she will pay the appropriate vendors including the officiant, musicians, etc. If you are having a smaller wedding or you didn’t employ a professional coordinator, prepare an envelope in advance with your officiant’s payment inside, and give it to someone you trust with strict instructions. The best man or the bride’s father are two possibilities for taking care of this task. The designated person will then pass the envelope to your officiant at the appropriate time, which could be at the rehearsal or right before the wedding. Any time is fine, as long as you remember to take care of it. A firm handshake and a “thank you” are all that is needed to ease the nerves of whoever will take care of this task on your behalf.

Following the wedding, your officiant will be responsible for signing the marriage certificate and returning it to the appropriate government office to be filed by a specified deadline.

As with any other professional, the person performing your wedding ceremony is providing a service. You’re not just paying for his or her time. You are also paying for their years of education, knowledge and experience, just like you would be expected to pay for any other professional.

Wedding Programs: Keep Guests Informed and Keep the Day on Schedule

Used to be, guests would sit in the pews at a wedding with empty hands and no idea about the order of the ceremony, who some of the attendants were, their relationship to the couple, and possibly no clue how to get to the reception site.

Of course, the wedding won’t screech to a halt if some of your guests don’t know how you met your spouse, the sentimental reason you choose Gerbera daisies for your bouquet, what song or scripture is up next, or the fact that your best friend since preschool is your maid of honor.

But wouldn’t it be nice if everyone felt a little closer to you on your wedding day? As a frequent wedding guest, it’s more fun to observe the wedding and finally be able to put faces with the names we’ve heard for so long – the attendants and friends who are standing up with you, the siblings we’ve met briefly but don’t really know very well, members of the family you’re marrying into.

So why not make a wedding program? It’s a great way to keep your guests informed about the day’s events, which means your guests will feel more comfortable and prepared for what’s next. Another benefit of a wedding program is to assist guests who are of a different faith or culture and may not be familiar with the traditions they’re about to be a part of.

Whether your wedding is casual or ultra-formal, a wedding program is a welcome bonus that can be passed out to each guest as they sign the guest book and make their way to their seats before the ceremony.

What might you include in a wedding program?

•     Briefly introduce each person in the wedding party. With or without a photo, it’s a nice idea to state the person’s name, their duties for the ceremony, and how you know this person (sister, cousin, lifelong friend, sorority sister, etc.).

•    How did you meet your spouse? Not everyone attending your wedding will know, so share the short version of how your love story began.

•     How did he propose? Unless it’s too intimate to share, it might be fun to tell everyone how your husband-to-be proposed.

•    The order of the ceremony, from the prelude to the recessional with each piece of the ceremony mentioned. This doesn’t mean you should spell out the entire ceremony, word-for-word, like a script. It can be as simple as stating a word or two for each part of the ceremony, such as Prelude, Prayer, Scripture (along with where the verse may be found in the Bible), Reading (and the name of the poem), Solo (along with the name of the song and who will be performing), Exchange of Rings, etc.

•    An explanation of any traditions or rituals that will take place during the ceremony or reception. Many Christian denominations, for example, are used to a short, sweet ceremony, and may be surprised with all of the standing up, sitting down, kneeling, communion, and the length of a traditional Catholic wedding mass. Let your guests know what they should expect next.

•     Your new address. Let everyone know where they can reach you after the ceremony. Plus they’ll want to update their Christmas card lists!

•    A map to the reception. Everyone will appreciate a map or directions from the ceremony to the reception site.

•    Special notes of thanks to anyone who has helped you with the wedding, your families, or anyone else who deserves a shout out.

The program itself can be simple or extravagant. If you are a computer whiz, you should be able to whip up an attractive program in no time, or find a graphic designer to handle the project. The front cover is often a photo of the couple, along with their names and the date. If you have had a wedding monogram or logo created, this would be a great spot to use it. Visit your local scrapbook store or stationery store to find interesting paper, and add a tasteful ribbon to hold the pages together.